Crossroads, what does it mean and what was the crossroads of your life that has led you to seeking out your life change or on the flip side; that may be holding up your life change?
What was the crossroads in my life that led me to God? Well, it was when my wife told me that I was going to church and going to get help with my anger problems (and others) or she was going to leave me. She had told me that many times before but I could tell by her tone and demeanor that this time she was serious. Being the stubborn person I am, I originally started going to church with the intent of just appeasing my wife and not changing a thing; little did I know that God had a much bigger plan for me. He hooked me with the ability of our Senior Pastor to always make his point/lesson seem as though it was always about my life. Then he put another great man in my life, Gary Lowder, who showed me that my many ways were wrong; and that with God not only will my life and marriage be better but that I would be better. With that knowledge my whole life began to change; and boy is it nice. Don't get me wrong, you will have crossroads throughout all your life; I am at one now. After you have come to God, it becomes how you handle those crossroads that will define you.
So what is a crossroads? Well a crossroads is a moment in time, in your life, that forces you to make a decision to alter the path with which you were following. This decision could either be good or bad depending on the path you choose. Crossroads come in all shapes and sizes, but as I have learned they usually are significant periods in the persons life(sometimes good and sometimes bad) that they will never forget. The true lesson though, for a person who has found God, is how you react when the crossroads is reached. Many times, people will just shutdown and not face the crossroads, other times people jump head first into them not thinking out their options/actions, and then there are people that really look at the issue, pray about it, and think about what to do before making their decisions. Yes, even those of us that have come to God and are in our recovery still fall into one of these three types of person.
So what type of person are you?
1) Do you shutdown and turn off the lights when you come to a crossroads in your life? Well if you do then I'm here to tell you that you will never get to a point to recover from your issues. This means you won't be able to forgive (yourself or anyone else) and you won't be able to heal. Is this you?
2) Do you make rash decisions, not thinking about the consequences before? Well if you do then you probably have made some choices that you look back on now and say WHY did I do that. Like the prior decision to shut down, odds are here that you made decisions based on inadequate information therefore you will get to your recovery but it may take a little longer. Is this you?
3) Do you look at your crossroad and think and pray about what you need to do? Well if you do then you will probably be a little further along in your recovery and while there are some decisions you may still look back and ask yourself WHY did I do that, they are far less than if you fall into one of the categories above.
So which type of person are you. Now for a few suggestions that I find handy when I reach a crossroads and you may find handy as well:
a) pray about it - TALK TO GOD, GIVE IT TO GOD, LISTEN FOR HIS ANSWER
b) talk to someone you trust and has the same morals and beliefs as you about the options you have (DON'T go to family or friends.) I'll explain below!
c) keep the lines of communication open (Once you have talked to that person you trust, keep talking. Let them know what you're are thinking and keep leaning on them for help and guidance.)
So I've been asked a number of times why I tell people not to go to family and friends to help them in their decision. Well, this is why I tell people this:
Oddly enough, some of the people nearest and dearest to you could be part of the problem. This is not to say that they don't have your best interests at heart. They do. They love you. They can't stand to see you in pain. More than anyone, they know you and know how much you deserve happiness in your life. Their caring is genuine. Why then do I say that your loved ones can be misdirecting you?
I call it the The Biased Shoulder:
When you share your unhappiness with loved ones, what they hear is your side of the story, and your side only. Even though there are two sides to every story; the people who love you don't care about objectivity, they want you to feel better. Although this makes perfect sense, the end result is that the people in whom you are confiding offer potentially life-changing advice without a complete set of facts. If you follow that advice, you may create an even bigger rift in your life than you intended.
Another reason friends and family can increase the odds you will make a wrong decision is because they can't bear to see you in pain. They will steer you to what they think is the quickest escape from the emotional torture. As as example, a friend or family member will convince themselves and then you that since your having marriage problems that your spouse is the problem, you should get rid of him or her. "You don't deserve this. Just get out." But do they have enough information to make that decision or recommendation; no because they only have one side of the story.
Lastly, although your friends and family care about you, their advice is also self-serving. It will make them feel better if you aren't so sad. It will be a relief for them when you stop feeling so torn. They want an end to this unhappiness you feel. The problem if you follow their advice and make them feel better, are you going to be truly happy, will you have to face other potential hurts or problems that that decision created? Yes but remember they won't, yet they didn't think about that when they told you what you should do.
So, I guess by now I've probably made some of you mad and that's not my intention; my intention is to help you the next time you reach a crossroads and for you to think and pray before you make a decision. Crossroads can be life changing, good or bad; how will you handle your next crossroads or maybe the crossroads you are facing today? I pray you become the type of person that thinks, prays, and looks at all options thoroughly before you make a decision.
God Bless and Have a Blessed Day!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
God's Gift of GRACE !!!!!!!!!
The last couple posts I talked about the need for Forgiveness (offering and giving) and before I began blogging I talked to my CR group about the need to make amends – in these discussions we looked at how it destroys us and the relationships we are involved in. I want to recap the three types of forgiveness before I move on (and all three are very important):
(3) Kinds of Forgiveness
1. Forgiveness that is extended from God
2. Forgiveness that is extended from us to others
3. Forgiveness that is extended to ourselves
In this discussion you will have a lot of Scripture.... Go Figure – we are learning to do life God’s way right?
Grace
Principle 6 tells us that we must: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
“Happy are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:6) “Happy are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)
With this blog, we are going to finish discussing Principle 6. We have talked about how to evaluate all our relationships, offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us, and make amends for the harm that we have done to others, when possible without expecting anything back.
As we grow as Christians and as we grow in our recovery, we want to follow the guidance and directions of Jesus Christ. As we get to know Him better, we want to model His teachings and model His ways. We want to become more like Him. Honestly, if we are going to implement Principle 6 to the best of our ability, we need to learn to model God’s grace. But how?
The key verses of Celebrate Recovery are 2 Corinthians 12:9–10 (NCV): “But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.’ So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.”
Celebrate Recovery is built on and centered in Christ’s grace and love for each of us.
Let’s look at the acrostic: GRACE.
Are You Ready to Accept Grace ???
God’s gift
Received by our faith
Accepted by God’s love
Christ paid the price
Everlasting gift
The G in grace is GOD’S gift
Grace is a gift. Grace cannot be bought. It is freely given by God to you and me. When we offer (give) our amends and expect nothing back, that’s a gift from us to those whom we have hurt.
Romans 3:24 (NCV) tells us, “All need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. They need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ.” and First Peter 1:13 (NCV) says, “Prepare your minds for service and have self-control. All your hope should be for the gift of grace that will be yours when Jesus Christ is shown to you.”
If my relationship with God was dependent on my being perfect, I would have trouble relating to God most of the time. Thank God that my relationship with Him is built on His grace and love for me. He gives the strength to make the amends and offer the forgiveness that Principle 6 requires. And how do we receive God’s gift of grace?
That’s the R in grace: RECEIVED by our faith.
No matter how hard we may work, we cannot earn our way into heaven. Only by professing our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior can we experience His grace and have eternal life. Ephesians 2:8–9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Let me share another verse with you. Philippians 3:9 (TLB) states, “No longer counting on being saved by being good enough or by obeying God’s laws, but by trusting Christ to save me; for God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith—counting on Christ alone.”
The thing that I have learned is that You and I tend to be more interested in what we do. While God is more interested in what we are. Romans 5:2 says of Jesus, “Through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.”
Just a word of warning: Our walk needs to match our talk. Our beliefs and values are seen by others in our actions. And it is through our faith in Christ that we can find the strength and courage needed for us to take the action Principle 6 requires: making your amends and offering your forgiveness.
The next letter in grace is A. We are ACCEPTED by God’s love.
God loved you and me while we were still out there sinning. Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We can, in turn, love others because God first loved us. We can also forgive others because God first forgave us. Because of God’s Grace we can pass it on and move forward.
Colossians 3:13 (TLB) says, “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” and Ephesians 2:5 (NCV) reminds us that “Though we were spiritually dead because of the things we did against God, he gave us new life with Christ. You have been saved by God’s grace.”
I don’t know about you, but I know that I do not deserve God’s love. But the good news is He accepts me in spite of myself! He sees all my failures and loves me anyway. And the same goes for you. Hebrews 4:16 (NCV) tells us, “Let us, then, feel very sure that we can come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we can receive mercy and grace to help us when we need it.”
Let’s move on to the C in grace: CHRIST paid the price.
Jesus died on the cross so that all our sins, all our wrongs, are forgiven. He paid the price, sacrificed Himself for you and me so that we may be with Him forever.
When we accept Christ’s work on the cross, we are made a new creation. We can then rely on God’s strength and power to enable us to forgive those who have hurt us. We can set aside our selfishness and speak the truth in love. We focus only on our part in making amends or offering our forgiveness. Remember, YOU CAN ONLY CLEAN UP YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET! Ephesians 1:7 (NCV) says, “In Christ we are set free by the blood of his death, and so we have forgiveness of sins. How rich is God’s grace.”
The last letter in grace is E: God’s grace is an EVERLASTING gift.
Once you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, God’s gift of grace is forever.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24)
Let me read a quote from the Big Book of AA, pages 83–84: “Once you have completed Step Nine, you will know a new freedom and a new happiness.… you will comprehend the word serenity and know peace.… You will suddenly realize that God is doing for you what you could not do for yourself.”
And here’s a quote from the real Big Book—the Bible: “And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns” (Philippians 1:6, TLB). Also, 2 Thessalonians 2:16 (NCV) states, “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever.”
My life verse is 1 Peter 2:9–10 (TLB), where God says, “For you have been chosen by God himself—you are priests of the King, you are holy and pure, you are God’s very own—all this so that you may show to others how God called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were less than nothing; now you [John Baker] are God’s own. Once you knew very little of God’s kindness; now your very lives have been changed by it.”
So I ask you again: Are You Ready to Accept Grace ???
God’s gift
Received by our faith
Accepted by God’s love
Christ paid the price
Everlasting gift
As you take the necessary steps of forgiveness and accept/extend grace, you will discover that you are letting go of the guilt and shame. You’ll be able to say, “I’m not perfect, but God and I are working on me. I still fall down, but with my Savior’s help, I can get up, brush myself off, and try again. Together we will all be able to say, “I forgive myself because God has already forgiven me, and with His help, I can forgive others.”
Today I can say that I humbly stand before you as a product of God’s grace and I can promise you that if you have let Christ into your life then you are a product of God's grace as well.
Have a blessed day!
(3) Kinds of Forgiveness
1. Forgiveness that is extended from God
2. Forgiveness that is extended from us to others
3. Forgiveness that is extended to ourselves
In this discussion you will have a lot of Scripture.... Go Figure – we are learning to do life God’s way right?
Grace
Principle 6 tells us that we must: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
“Happy are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:6) “Happy are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)
With this blog, we are going to finish discussing Principle 6. We have talked about how to evaluate all our relationships, offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us, and make amends for the harm that we have done to others, when possible without expecting anything back.
As we grow as Christians and as we grow in our recovery, we want to follow the guidance and directions of Jesus Christ. As we get to know Him better, we want to model His teachings and model His ways. We want to become more like Him. Honestly, if we are going to implement Principle 6 to the best of our ability, we need to learn to model God’s grace. But how?
The key verses of Celebrate Recovery are 2 Corinthians 12:9–10 (NCV): “But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.’ So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.”
Celebrate Recovery is built on and centered in Christ’s grace and love for each of us.
Let’s look at the acrostic: GRACE.
Are You Ready to Accept Grace ???
God’s gift
Received by our faith
Accepted by God’s love
Christ paid the price
Everlasting gift
The G in grace is GOD’S gift
Grace is a gift. Grace cannot be bought. It is freely given by God to you and me. When we offer (give) our amends and expect nothing back, that’s a gift from us to those whom we have hurt.
Romans 3:24 (NCV) tells us, “All need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. They need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ.” and First Peter 1:13 (NCV) says, “Prepare your minds for service and have self-control. All your hope should be for the gift of grace that will be yours when Jesus Christ is shown to you.”
If my relationship with God was dependent on my being perfect, I would have trouble relating to God most of the time. Thank God that my relationship with Him is built on His grace and love for me. He gives the strength to make the amends and offer the forgiveness that Principle 6 requires. And how do we receive God’s gift of grace?
That’s the R in grace: RECEIVED by our faith.
No matter how hard we may work, we cannot earn our way into heaven. Only by professing our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior can we experience His grace and have eternal life. Ephesians 2:8–9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Let me share another verse with you. Philippians 3:9 (TLB) states, “No longer counting on being saved by being good enough or by obeying God’s laws, but by trusting Christ to save me; for God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith—counting on Christ alone.”
The thing that I have learned is that You and I tend to be more interested in what we do. While God is more interested in what we are. Romans 5:2 says of Jesus, “Through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.”
Just a word of warning: Our walk needs to match our talk. Our beliefs and values are seen by others in our actions. And it is through our faith in Christ that we can find the strength and courage needed for us to take the action Principle 6 requires: making your amends and offering your forgiveness.
The next letter in grace is A. We are ACCEPTED by God’s love.
God loved you and me while we were still out there sinning. Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We can, in turn, love others because God first loved us. We can also forgive others because God first forgave us. Because of God’s Grace we can pass it on and move forward.
Colossians 3:13 (TLB) says, “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” and Ephesians 2:5 (NCV) reminds us that “Though we were spiritually dead because of the things we did against God, he gave us new life with Christ. You have been saved by God’s grace.”
I don’t know about you, but I know that I do not deserve God’s love. But the good news is He accepts me in spite of myself! He sees all my failures and loves me anyway. And the same goes for you. Hebrews 4:16 (NCV) tells us, “Let us, then, feel very sure that we can come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we can receive mercy and grace to help us when we need it.”
Let’s move on to the C in grace: CHRIST paid the price.
Jesus died on the cross so that all our sins, all our wrongs, are forgiven. He paid the price, sacrificed Himself for you and me so that we may be with Him forever.
When we accept Christ’s work on the cross, we are made a new creation. We can then rely on God’s strength and power to enable us to forgive those who have hurt us. We can set aside our selfishness and speak the truth in love. We focus only on our part in making amends or offering our forgiveness. Remember, YOU CAN ONLY CLEAN UP YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET! Ephesians 1:7 (NCV) says, “In Christ we are set free by the blood of his death, and so we have forgiveness of sins. How rich is God’s grace.”
The last letter in grace is E: God’s grace is an EVERLASTING gift.
Once you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, God’s gift of grace is forever.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24)
Let me read a quote from the Big Book of AA, pages 83–84: “Once you have completed Step Nine, you will know a new freedom and a new happiness.… you will comprehend the word serenity and know peace.… You will suddenly realize that God is doing for you what you could not do for yourself.”
And here’s a quote from the real Big Book—the Bible: “And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns” (Philippians 1:6, TLB). Also, 2 Thessalonians 2:16 (NCV) states, “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever.”
My life verse is 1 Peter 2:9–10 (TLB), where God says, “For you have been chosen by God himself—you are priests of the King, you are holy and pure, you are God’s very own—all this so that you may show to others how God called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were less than nothing; now you [John Baker] are God’s own. Once you knew very little of God’s kindness; now your very lives have been changed by it.”
So I ask you again: Are You Ready to Accept Grace ???
God’s gift
Received by our faith
Accepted by God’s love
Christ paid the price
Everlasting gift
As you take the necessary steps of forgiveness and accept/extend grace, you will discover that you are letting go of the guilt and shame. You’ll be able to say, “I’m not perfect, but God and I are working on me. I still fall down, but with my Savior’s help, I can get up, brush myself off, and try again. Together we will all be able to say, “I forgive myself because God has already forgiven me, and with His help, I can forgive others.”
Today I can say that I humbly stand before you as a product of God’s grace and I can promise you that if you have let Christ into your life then you are a product of God's grace as well.
Have a blessed day!
Friday, October 2, 2009
How can I forgive those who sin or have sinned against me?
I think we can all agree that this is a little easier said than done; and would probably be done a lot more if we could only forgive the person who come asking for it and only if we thought that person were apologizing in a sorrowful and repentant manner. Now that would be perfect right, so what's the problem with that thinking! The problem is that that isn't what God tells us. He says we have to forgive everyone who has sinned against or caused pain to us! Ephesians 4:32 it states "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Another verse to remember is Colossians 3:13 where it says "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." The keys that I am using these two versus to point out are that we are to forgive like God forgave us. Forgiveness for all with no limits and no strings.
So why is that we have to forgive? Well, to put it simple it's because we have been forgiven by our Lord and Savior! So why so hard? Well that again is pretty simple; it's because of the emotions we run into in this process that makes forgiveness such a difficult task. All the hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness, and want for revenge that has a hold on us is why we refuse to forgive and why we refuse to let go. But why is that? Well it's our own will and our own need to have justice for what the other person(s) has done to us. Well I have a question for you about justice; and that is do we really have to seek justice for the pain that we have been caused? The answer to that is no, because in the end everyone has to face God and the book of life; and that is where justice will be done. I believe that is what many of us truly forget and also why many of us can't look to forgive because we are afraid someone will forget. But I remind you, just like God knows what you are going to do and when your going to do it; he has the book of life so he never forgets what you have done either.
So who does all this anger, bitterness, resentment, and so on actually hurt? Right again, it's you and those around you! The problem is we let it hurt every part of us; our souls, our relationships, our friendships, and every other aspect of our daily lives. So how do you get past this. Well I only know of one way. You have to ask God for his help. You have to sincerely and honestly ask God to open your mind and your heart to his way, you have to ask God for his will and power to make you willing to listen and change, and you have to ask God to give you the strength to follow through. It is then and only then that God will give you the help and relief that you so desire. This is when you will truly let go of your pain and hurt; and that will be followed by the ability to forgive.
God gave you free will and with that the ability to think for yourself and to make decisions for yourself. So I ask you, do you choose pain and hurt or do you choose God and forgiveness? It is your decision!
So why is that we have to forgive? Well, to put it simple it's because we have been forgiven by our Lord and Savior! So why so hard? Well that again is pretty simple; it's because of the emotions we run into in this process that makes forgiveness such a difficult task. All the hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness, and want for revenge that has a hold on us is why we refuse to forgive and why we refuse to let go. But why is that? Well it's our own will and our own need to have justice for what the other person(s) has done to us. Well I have a question for you about justice; and that is do we really have to seek justice for the pain that we have been caused? The answer to that is no, because in the end everyone has to face God and the book of life; and that is where justice will be done. I believe that is what many of us truly forget and also why many of us can't look to forgive because we are afraid someone will forget. But I remind you, just like God knows what you are going to do and when your going to do it; he has the book of life so he never forgets what you have done either.
So who does all this anger, bitterness, resentment, and so on actually hurt? Right again, it's you and those around you! The problem is we let it hurt every part of us; our souls, our relationships, our friendships, and every other aspect of our daily lives. So how do you get past this. Well I only know of one way. You have to ask God for his help. You have to sincerely and honestly ask God to open your mind and your heart to his way, you have to ask God for his will and power to make you willing to listen and change, and you have to ask God to give you the strength to follow through. It is then and only then that God will give you the help and relief that you so desire. This is when you will truly let go of your pain and hurt; and that will be followed by the ability to forgive.
God gave you free will and with that the ability to think for yourself and to make decisions for yourself. So I ask you, do you choose pain and hurt or do you choose God and forgiveness? It is your decision!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
If I commit a sin do I need to ask God for forgiveness again?
This question was one actually sent to me from a Facebook friend. Thank you!
To answer this question let's take a look at the verse 1 John 1:9 - “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” This verse tells us that we need to "confess" our sins, not ask for forgiveness. The bible also tells us that if you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ for your salvation; then all your sins are forgiven. Now, I believe this means all your past, present, and your future sins no matter how big or small they were/are/or will be are forgiven. So how did I draw that conclusion? Well in Colassians 1:14 and Acts 10:43 we are told that Jesus died to pay the penalty for all our sins, and when they are forgiven; they are all forgiven. Keywords to remember there are "they are all forgiven." So no I don't believe you have to ask God for forgiveness every time you have sinned; however, I do believe you have to confess your sin to God. But why do you have to confess your sin?
Well think about it a minute. If someone does a wrong against you, what happens with your relationship with that person. There is a distancing between you and the other person; am I right. What happens after the person admits they hurt you; you become closer because the person saw the error of his/her way allowing a healing between the two of you! Well the same holds true with God. All God wants with me and you is a relationship, but like any relationship there are going to be bumps and bruises that can/will hinder that relationship between me/you and God. But when you confess your sin(s) to God you are admitting you are wrong and that you have sinned; and through this confession God will be faithful and just to you. Faithful in that he will forgive your sin and just in that he will recognize that Jesus Christ already paid the penalty for that sin. Also with your confession the distance between you and God is closed and the healing of your relationship and soul begins; all of these things draw you closer in your relationship with God, which is all he wants.
I remind you, God loves you for you and God is willing and wants a relationship with you. The question I ask you is, are you willing?
To answer this question let's take a look at the verse 1 John 1:9 - “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” This verse tells us that we need to "confess" our sins, not ask for forgiveness. The bible also tells us that if you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ for your salvation; then all your sins are forgiven. Now, I believe this means all your past, present, and your future sins no matter how big or small they were/are/or will be are forgiven. So how did I draw that conclusion? Well in Colassians 1:14 and Acts 10:43 we are told that Jesus died to pay the penalty for all our sins, and when they are forgiven; they are all forgiven. Keywords to remember there are "they are all forgiven." So no I don't believe you have to ask God for forgiveness every time you have sinned; however, I do believe you have to confess your sin to God. But why do you have to confess your sin?
Well think about it a minute. If someone does a wrong against you, what happens with your relationship with that person. There is a distancing between you and the other person; am I right. What happens after the person admits they hurt you; you become closer because the person saw the error of his/her way allowing a healing between the two of you! Well the same holds true with God. All God wants with me and you is a relationship, but like any relationship there are going to be bumps and bruises that can/will hinder that relationship between me/you and God. But when you confess your sin(s) to God you are admitting you are wrong and that you have sinned; and through this confession God will be faithful and just to you. Faithful in that he will forgive your sin and just in that he will recognize that Jesus Christ already paid the penalty for that sin. Also with your confession the distance between you and God is closed and the healing of your relationship and soul begins; all of these things draw you closer in your relationship with God, which is all he wants.
I remind you, God loves you for you and God is willing and wants a relationship with you. The question I ask you is, are you willing?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Forgiveness: Do you truly accept and offer forgiveness?
This is a great question to ask yourself as you are working through your recovery! This question alone can tell you whether or not you are allowing something to block, stall, or even destroy your recovery.
As I began my recovery, I THOUGHT; that I was able to forgive and accept forgiveness without any problems. However, what I learned was that my pains and my hurts were so deep that I was not only not accepting forgiveness that was offered to me but I wasn't truly offering my forgiveness in the way similar to how God offered forgiveness to me. I mean lets think about it for a minute, Jesus allowed himself to be put on the cross to FORGIVE ME for my sins. He died folks, he died for me and for you; just to forgive our sins; and keep in mind a sin is a sin, it doesn't matter to God how big or how small it is. Yet, I couldn't even let go of my anger, my pain, my fear, my guilt, or my shame in order to forgive another human being. I kept wanting that revenge or justice for what was done to me. WHY?
Well it's a simple answer and like many others I needed a little nudge to open my eyes wide enough to see it. So why couldn't I forgive others or myself, why couldn't I accept forgiveness when it was offered to me?
That is a tough one. I learned that I couldn't do any of these for many reasons but it all came back to one problem; I had buried the pain that I and others had caused me. I let my anger, resentments, need for justice, fears, need for fairness, ability to blame others, shame, and guilt control my life. Basically put, I let my emotions run my life, I am human after all. In Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) it says "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" I have so learned how true that is. The one and only lasting solution in my recovery is that I had to face my past, forgive myself and those that have hurt me, and I had to make amends for the pain that I have caused others. To do this I had to begin by first accepting what Jesus had done for ME. He died to forgive me for things I hadn't even done yet; yes he knew I was going to do them, but he died for me knowing this. Now that's what I call love. He canceled all my sins, paid in full; it was his gift from Him to Me as my Lord and Savior. That's a love I am proud to have found and am just as proud to accept now.
The second way I have worked to extend my recovery through forgiveness is that I had to forgive myself. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it. Well it is, once you get past all the guilt, shame, fear, and blame that you put on yourself. That in itself was a challenge. I started with by forgiving in what I later learned were superficial, incomplete, and with the wrong motives. I had to accept that self-forgiveness is not a matter of assigning blame to someone else, letting myself off the hook, and it definitely wasn't a license for my irresponsibility. It is simply me accepting that I am human like everybody else and being honest with myself. With this, came a greater respect for myself! This allowed me to move on in my recovery, because I have now taken out a big obstacle in my recovery; ME!
The last thing I had to face in my recovery was I had to be willing to be willing to give forgiveness, accept forgiveness, and then let it all go. Easier said than done right. True, it is; but ask yourself one big question. Who is your hurt/pain hurting the most? I promise you, if you take a cold, hard look at this question; you will find that person is YOU! It was for me. When I was addressing me forgiving others, I fought hard with this one. I kept telling myself and God that it wasn't my fault. Why should I forgive so and so for what they did to me; they don't care! That's when a good friend of mine reminded me of a little saying he had heard and one that I now remember every time I look to forgive someone else. That saying is if God wasn't willing to forgive sin, heaven would be empty! Says a lot to me and reminds me that he has forgiven me so why can't I forgive someone else. Forgiveness is all about letting go. It doesn't mean you have to forget, but in order for recovery to work you have to let go. No matter how hard it seems, just remember that until you do let go you will always be a prisoner of that pain or hurt, habit, or hang-up! I even asked God for forgiveness and I even forgave God. Yes you read that right! I forgave God. God forgave me when I asked for it, just because I sincerely asked for it. But I too had to forgive God. I had to forgive God because I realized that all my anger towards him had been misplaced. I was angry at him for taking my first wife in a car accident, to be exact when I walked out of the hospital that day I looked up and said if you can't help me then I have no need for you. Since I have learned otherwise. I learned that God has a greater scheme and purpose, that he loves ME for ME, that God forgave me for turning my back on him the second I asked and repented for it, and most of all I have learned of God's promise which we find in 1 Peter 5:10 (PH): After you have borne these sufferings a very little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to share in his eternal splendor through Christ, will himself make you whole and secure and strong. How awesome is that!
I can now say, that I not only forgive myself because God has already forgiven me, but with God's help; I can forgive others as well. The key here and throughout recovery is that I need God's help and with this help I may not be able to change the past, but I sure will change my future.
Thanks for reading and feel free to leave your questions or comments!
As I began my recovery, I THOUGHT; that I was able to forgive and accept forgiveness without any problems. However, what I learned was that my pains and my hurts were so deep that I was not only not accepting forgiveness that was offered to me but I wasn't truly offering my forgiveness in the way similar to how God offered forgiveness to me. I mean lets think about it for a minute, Jesus allowed himself to be put on the cross to FORGIVE ME for my sins. He died folks, he died for me and for you; just to forgive our sins; and keep in mind a sin is a sin, it doesn't matter to God how big or how small it is. Yet, I couldn't even let go of my anger, my pain, my fear, my guilt, or my shame in order to forgive another human being. I kept wanting that revenge or justice for what was done to me. WHY?
Well it's a simple answer and like many others I needed a little nudge to open my eyes wide enough to see it. So why couldn't I forgive others or myself, why couldn't I accept forgiveness when it was offered to me?
That is a tough one. I learned that I couldn't do any of these for many reasons but it all came back to one problem; I had buried the pain that I and others had caused me. I let my anger, resentments, need for justice, fears, need for fairness, ability to blame others, shame, and guilt control my life. Basically put, I let my emotions run my life, I am human after all. In Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) it says "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" I have so learned how true that is. The one and only lasting solution in my recovery is that I had to face my past, forgive myself and those that have hurt me, and I had to make amends for the pain that I have caused others. To do this I had to begin by first accepting what Jesus had done for ME. He died to forgive me for things I hadn't even done yet; yes he knew I was going to do them, but he died for me knowing this. Now that's what I call love. He canceled all my sins, paid in full; it was his gift from Him to Me as my Lord and Savior. That's a love I am proud to have found and am just as proud to accept now.
The second way I have worked to extend my recovery through forgiveness is that I had to forgive myself. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it. Well it is, once you get past all the guilt, shame, fear, and blame that you put on yourself. That in itself was a challenge. I started with by forgiving in what I later learned were superficial, incomplete, and with the wrong motives. I had to accept that self-forgiveness is not a matter of assigning blame to someone else, letting myself off the hook, and it definitely wasn't a license for my irresponsibility. It is simply me accepting that I am human like everybody else and being honest with myself. With this, came a greater respect for myself! This allowed me to move on in my recovery, because I have now taken out a big obstacle in my recovery; ME!
The last thing I had to face in my recovery was I had to be willing to be willing to give forgiveness, accept forgiveness, and then let it all go. Easier said than done right. True, it is; but ask yourself one big question. Who is your hurt/pain hurting the most? I promise you, if you take a cold, hard look at this question; you will find that person is YOU! It was for me. When I was addressing me forgiving others, I fought hard with this one. I kept telling myself and God that it wasn't my fault. Why should I forgive so and so for what they did to me; they don't care! That's when a good friend of mine reminded me of a little saying he had heard and one that I now remember every time I look to forgive someone else. That saying is if God wasn't willing to forgive sin, heaven would be empty! Says a lot to me and reminds me that he has forgiven me so why can't I forgive someone else. Forgiveness is all about letting go. It doesn't mean you have to forget, but in order for recovery to work you have to let go. No matter how hard it seems, just remember that until you do let go you will always be a prisoner of that pain or hurt, habit, or hang-up! I even asked God for forgiveness and I even forgave God. Yes you read that right! I forgave God. God forgave me when I asked for it, just because I sincerely asked for it. But I too had to forgive God. I had to forgive God because I realized that all my anger towards him had been misplaced. I was angry at him for taking my first wife in a car accident, to be exact when I walked out of the hospital that day I looked up and said if you can't help me then I have no need for you. Since I have learned otherwise. I learned that God has a greater scheme and purpose, that he loves ME for ME, that God forgave me for turning my back on him the second I asked and repented for it, and most of all I have learned of God's promise which we find in 1 Peter 5:10 (PH): After you have borne these sufferings a very little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to share in his eternal splendor through Christ, will himself make you whole and secure and strong. How awesome is that!
I can now say, that I not only forgive myself because God has already forgiven me, but with God's help; I can forgive others as well. The key here and throughout recovery is that I need God's help and with this help I may not be able to change the past, but I sure will change my future.
Thanks for reading and feel free to leave your questions or comments!
Friday, September 25, 2009
12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery and their Biblical Comparisons
THE 12 STEPS
And Their Biblical Comparisons
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. Romans 7:18
Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Philippians 2:13
Step 3: We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God. Romans 12:1
Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Lamentations 3:40
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. James 5:16
Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. James 4:10
Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. 1 John 1:9
Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Luke 6:31
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Matthew 5:23-24
Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 1 Corinthians 10:12
Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Colossians 3:16
Step 12: Having had a spiritual experience as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Galatians 6:1
Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Philippians 2:13
Step 3: We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God. Romans 12:1
Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Lamentations 3:40
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. James 5:16
Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. James 4:10
Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. 1 John 1:9
Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Luke 6:31
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Matthew 5:23-24
Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 1 Corinthians 10:12
Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Colossians 3:16
Step 12: Having had a spiritual experience as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Galatians 6:1
8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery
EIGHT RECOVERY PRINCIPLES
Based on the Beatitudes
Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. (Step 1) “Happy are those who know that they are spiritually poor.”
Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover. (Step 2) “Happy are those how mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control. (Step 3) “Happy are the meek.”
Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. (Steps 4 and 5) “Happy are the pure in heart.”
Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. (Steps 6 and 7) “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires”
Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others when possible, except when to do so would harm them or others. (Steps 8 and 9) “Happy are the merciful.” & “Happy are the peacemakers”
Reserve a time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. (Steps 10 and 11)
Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and my words. (Step 12) “Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.”
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